July 6, 2009

Joy in the Sorrow

Will we live our lives with passion and purpose even if, in this lifetime, we are not permitted to have an answer to why something has happed?Will we choose unshakable faith or we will give up on God in difficult circumstances?As much as I don't like the process, I am learning that the cup of sorrow can also be the cup of joy.
~ Carol Kent

I just wanted to do an update for all of you. My dad is doing well. His appetite is great. He hasn't run any fever yet. I would say to me he has looked better than he has in the past couple of months. Continue to pray for no fever, appetite, and no pain.

The questions and statement above are from a book I'm currently reading. I love the statement that says as much as I don't like the process, I am learning that the cup of sorrow can also be the cup of joy. I will be perfectly honest with you and tell you not only do I not like the process I hate it and would do anything to change it. I don't wish cancer on anybody or someone to have to go through it with a loved one. As many times that I have been down, broken, tired, and ready to just quit God gives me another reason to keep going and more importantly the grace and strength to keep going.

I don't like it one bit but I have to remind myself that God promises to never leave me nor forsake me and He truly is a Friend like no other. I will never pretend to have the answer or the why our family was chosen to walk this path. It doesn't make sense and it may never make sense but God is drawing us as a family and individuals closer to Him daily.

At times the wave of emotions come and through all the emotions good and bad I have my sweet and gentle Savior calling me back to Truth. The truth that even though I don't understand or at times can't see the purpose of this that He works ALL things including my situation together for good. The truth that I don't have to hold it all together in fact I can't hold it all together but I can come to the God who holds the world together in His hands. The truth my God alone is enough for me. The truth when I feel like I have just been kicked in the gut God will me the grace to catch my breath again.

So yes this journey of my life is very hard and something that I wish God would just simply take away because I know He can but clinging to the fact that even the morning may last for the night joy comes in the morning. Even though at times I can't always see God healing my dad I know that He is. I'm thankful to say though right now I can physically these past couple of days see God healing my dad. I know though I may not always see it but have to trust that God knows what He is doing and it will happen in His time and His time alone. Our hearts can feel broken at times but we know God will and is healing and binding up every wound on them.

May you choose the unshakable faith instead of giving up on God in the hard and easy times. In the hard times I understand how easily and tempting it can be to turn our backs on God but that cost us so much when we do that. In the easy times it's easy to think we don't need God's strength and grace to get through that day. During the easy times it's easy to let pride start sneaking its way into our life. I once heard that pride makes you fall but shame and guilt keep you from getting up. May you never let pride cause your fall and may you always realize God is saying to you to get back up and that He will give you the strength and grace to do it. Even though you may give up or have given up on Him God promises that He hasn't and will never give up on you. God doesn't force Himself on us but gently and quietly calls to us with His love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness that He wants you to take a hold of. I am not telling you that you will have all the answers in this life and that your life will be problem free when we choose the unshakable faith God has for us but it's an abundant and joy filled life even through the trails and storms that come your way on this journey called life.

It's almost 1:30 in the morning so I better go to bed. I'm going to bed thankful for the joy my Savior gives me when I wake up and the new mercies I receive.

In the season of sorrow and joy,

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