New Place

I will be doing updates on a different website. The website is called caringbridge and the link to where I will be posting/blogging from now on is listed below.
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/lookingupward

So I know you are all probably wondering why I am doing this. Nothing happened just blogspot was getting hard for me to use so I created a caringbridge site and I like it better. It's is easier for me to use. Also, you can still leave your comments in the guestbook and the commenting will be easier for you and me. I won't have to be approving every one of your comments which will make things easier and your comment will appear faster. I just ask that you will be respectful with your comments. The comments are appeciated and make me thankful for the people God has placed in my life.

So go take a look at the new website I will be using and let me know how you like it. Thank you for allowing me to open up and be real here with you on blogspot. It's something I still want to do with you but just at a different place and hopefully something that will be easier for you and me. The updates will start coming more often too. For an update on what is going on with my dad check the new site as I have already done a post there. Thanks for your understanding and I hope and pray that you will continue to join me on this journey that I am taking with God leading the way just at the caringbridge site instead of this one.

The link for all you one more time is below.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/lookingupward

With God's love,
Bridget

Perfect Timing

People say a picture is worth a thousand words. This picture is truely one of those pictures for me because of the meaning that it has behind it. I don't post this picture to brag about something I did but to show God's grace in one of my weakest moments.

This picture was taken literally about 2 weeks before I found out the news that would forever change my life and send me on an unfamilar journey and amazing journey all at the same time. I actually was handing out stuffed animals at the children's hosiptal for Christmas. It was one of the most amazing things I have been able to do. Literally about 2 weeks after I was able to do this I found out that my dad had cancer. Although, I didn't deserve an award so to speak for going in the hosiptal with my heart's desire being to share God's love with those children it still felt like a slap in the face mostly because of the timing of it all. While I believe we should do things without expecting God to owe us something because after all God doesn't owe us anything I still struggled with God's timing in all of it. And God's timing is something that I still struggle with.

If God's timing was my timing my dad would be healed by now and the treament that he received back home would have worked and we wouldn't have to be going to M.D. Anderson for treatment in the hopes of God using M.D. Anderson to heal my dad. But God's timing is not mine. I don't know exactly what God's timing is. All I know that it is perfect and it's something that I don't understand completely but leaves me in awe of who God is.

I constantly lately find myself just telling God I'm tired and I'm ready for all this to over. Watching my dad in pain, the timing of how everything seems to be falling, and just tired of the emotions that I seem to fight daily. I find myself throughout the day being angry with God mainly because I don't understand why it is taking so long for my dad to be healed of cancer and ready for it all to be over, having to remind myself of God's promises and how He is faithful, having to call on all the other times God has been faithful in my life and that He is still faithful and that I can simply trust God even when I don't understand. I find myself having questions and arriving at no answers simply because God is asking me to trust Him even though I can't always see God's plan in this and trusting that somehow and someway that God is taking these ashes of my life and is turning them into beauty.

So how do I get through the day? I stop asking the questions and I get real with God. Usually the conversation that I start my day with goes something like this. God I pray that You would give me the strength and energy I need to face today. Help me to love people like You do. Through all the unexpected things that come my way today help to realize You are in control and trust You even though I don't understand. Help me to stop asking the questions. Help me to get through the angry moments I have with You throughout the day and comfort me in those moments. Countinue to strengthen, establish, perfect, and settle me like You promised You would do in my suffering.

Maybe in your life right now you are questioning the timing of everything that is happening in your life. I know for me the timing of everything just felt so wrong and like a slap in the face. Maybe that is how the timing of everything feels right now to you. I can't tell you why God choose the timing He did because I don't personally understand His timing of everything that has happened in my life but I can tell you that His timing is perfect even when it doesn't seem and feel like it.

So for me I had to stop asking the "why, what if, and the getting over how life should be" questions and start asking God to help me learn how to trust Him more that day. There are still times throughout the day where I have my angry moments with God and just wishing that life would go back to the way it was before December 2008. Through those moments I feel and know God is saying I understand, it's okay to have moments like this with Me, and I love you anyway and will show You what it means to trust Me anyway.

So whatever picture you have right now may you trust the Person who created and took the photo and the One who choose the timing upon which the picture was taken.

My dad is doing good. His rib is still broken but healing. Pray for his rib as it still hurts him. Thank you all so much for the prayers. They are felt and always felt at the perfect time when we need them desperately.

God's timing is perfect,
Bridget

Hope Giver

Mercy is not the ability to no longer feel the pain and heartache of living in this world. Mercy is knowing that I am being held through the pain by my Father.

~ Angela Thomas

Today, I am a follower of Christ, and when the earth begins to tremble and the mountains of my heart crumble toward the sea, my soul does what it was made to do - it cries out for the One who gives comfort and rest. The pain is still intense. The surprise attacks still take my breath away. But there is a difference now. The difference is now I know the One who made my soul. Because of our dance together, because of His amazing provision and faithfulness to me, He is more than words in a book. He is my Father. He is my Provider. He is Mercy and He is Hope.

~ Angela Thomas

Just wanted to share these quotes. Something for all of us to think about and apply. I hope one of them has encouraged you. May you know that God doesn't always take the pain in our life away but promises to always hold us in and through the pain. Something that I take great comfort in and something I pray that you take and find comfort in.

As for a update on my dad, he is doing good. His platlettes are still low along with his white blood cells. Pray that they both increase. Also, another thing that you all need to be in prayer for is my dad's rib. He broke his rib. For about a week he had been telling my mom and me that his side was hurting. While he told us he did fall he did not tell us that he felt like his rib was broken. Anyway, he did tell my mom about his rib and how it felt like he broke it. So while they were at M.D. Anderson they got the docter to look at his rib and turns out it was and still is broken. While the bottom part of the rib and not the top part of the rib is broken it still hurts him. So pray that his rib will heal and that he will not be in alot of pain. Keep praying for his appetite, energy, strength, rib, and platlettes and white blood cells to increase. Thank you all so much for your prayers. They are being felt and may God always receive all the glory for what He has done and is doing in our lives.

Until next time,
Bridget

More Beautiful You

There could never be a more beautiful you Don’t buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do So there could never be a more beautiful you
~ Jonny Diaz

Right now this is one of my favorite songs. It's called More Beautiful You by Jonny Diaz. I love the beat and the words in the song but more than that I love the message in the song. It talks about people wishing they were beautiful or more beautiful when they already are beautiful and how there could never be a more beautiful you. Why? Because God has already made you beautiful. Too often though that truth that can change your life gets buried underneath the lies the media, music videos, t.v., fashion, and the latest trends tell us.


I find that every thing that we see on t.v. and the media tells us to go buy the latest product so you can be beautiful. Whether that be through the means and hopes of having clearer skin, looking younger, losing weight, having a tan, being toned, or becoming fit. While I find and believe in exercise and staying healthly I believe even more that we need to be comfortable with who and how God has made us. Not to say that we will always look in the mirror and be happy with what we see and not notice our imperfections by the world's standards. I find the world tells us that we have to work to earn beauty and buy the latest products to become beautiful when God says that we ARE ALREADY beautiful and it's something that we DON'T have to work for or earn but something that is simply given to us because of who's image we are made in which is God Himself.

In fact in Song of Songs 4:7 says All beautiful you are my darling there is no flaw in you. While Song of Songs is a book about the love between a husband and wife I believe it is more a book showing God's love for His children. May you come to realize that there is not a more beautiful you out there then what you see in your mirror when you first wake up in the morning. You may need to do some diging to remind yourself of the beatiful person that you already are. I believe with God's help though it can be done because I promise the beautiful you is already inside of us. Sometimes we just need the reminder that there could never be a more beautiful us.

Knowing there could never be a more beautiful me,
Bridget

Quick Update

The doctor came in and said my dad's blood work looked good. His platlettes are still low. Please pray specifically that his platlettes will rise. Also, pray that his white blood cells will be high as well. He should be able to get out of the hospital tomorrow (Friday). Hopefully he will be home Friday night or Saturday, depending on how he feels. Pray for safe travel. Thank you for your continued prayers.

Sorry this blog is short. I will blog more later. Hope you all have a good night.

In Christ alone,
Bridget

Update

My dad is ok. It has been a very long day him. His line placement went ok. They started chemo at 3:45 this afternoon. He is having sweats but hopefully they won't last long. The doctors are all exicted about my dad's reponse to the chemo. Just another miracle God has given our family.

The cancer markers started dropping after the July 4th treatment and they keep going down. Just another thing that we thank and praise God for.

Pray that my dad's platlettes will increase. They are low right now and the chemo makes them even lower.

My dad's appetite is pretty good and his blood sugars are excellent. He has gained three more pounds since his last visit.

My mom met a lady today that has requested prayer for her daughter, Patricia. Patricia is 24 years old (with a 4 year old daughter) and has ovarian cancer. She is now bed-ridden and very weak. The family loves the Lord and the family has ask for our prayers. They also met another young man that they were able to witness to who is searching for answers. Please keep praying for our family as we reach out to people with God's love.

In Christ alone,
Bridget

Beautifully Broken

Beautifully Broken

Down but not defeated.
Ashes that are being turned into beauty.
Knowing that Jesus shines in my brokeness.
God taking the ordinary in my life and turning it into something extraordinary.
Hurting but still running the race.
Reaching for and waiting to hear the words someday of My good and faithful servant.
Looking forward not behind.
Being set free of the past and how my life should be.
Knowing that I have been made in the image of God.
Being changed from the inside out.
Knowing that true beauty starts on the inside.
I am radiant when my eyes are focused on my God.
Has an Audience of One.
Seeks to have a heart after God.
Knows in God's arms I am safe.
Emersed in tears but filled with hope.

This is actually a page I have written in my journal. Before I share about it I want to first update you on my dad. He is doing good. He actually did some yard work the other day and you can tell he is feeling better. The only that is hurting him is his side that he bruised the other day. So pray for that to heal and quit hurting. Pray for safe travel as we go to M.D. Anderson on Monday. My dad will be in the hosiptal on Monday. I will update you all on when he is having chemo and getting out of the hosiptal.

The Beautifully Broken words written above is something that has been written in my journal for a while now. One day I was thinking about what it meant to be broken but knowing that God brings beauty in it. And these are the words that God gave me. I am broken but I'm thankful that I am not just broken but beautifully broken because of the beauty God is creating in my brokeness and pain. I am down but not defeated because of the hope I have in God. The hope of knowing that every road and journey I'm on God is with me and will carry me through.

Even though I have days where it feels like I'm emersed in tears I will always be filled with hope even in the midst of my tears because I serve and love the ulimate Hope Giver. The God that brings and gives hope in what may seem like a hopeless circumstance.

Beautifully Broken with hope,
Bridget

Who God Is

First I want to start off by saying I'm so sorry I haven't updated you all as often as I have hoped I would. My life has been busy mostly with school, studying, and homework and I have also been doing some volleyball. When I do have free time all I want to do is relax and chill but I will start getting back into blogging. Just it may not always be as often as I would like.

This past week my mom and dad have been home and my dad is doing good. Before he left the hosiptal his white blood cells were low so they had to give him a shot to increase his white blood cells. They will be going back to M.D. Anderson in about a week. Keep praying that tumors will not grow as they have already stopped growing but also now that the tumors will start shrinking. I will let you all know when they head back over there so you all can pray for safe travel.

While this is a website where I blog about my dad and his process so you can all know how to pray for him and our family I want it to be more than just that. I want it to be a place where you can come and find encouragement for whatever is going on in your life. I hope and pray that you don't look at our family and say I can make it through anything because they are going through something really difficult and they are so strong. The truth is we are not strong but weak people who depend on the strength of God to get us through each and every day and most times every moment.I pray that you leave this blog/website having a better knowledge of who God is. Not because you have read words that have been typed by me but because it is God speaking through me.

So with that said I thought maybe I could start having a day where you ask questions they can be serious, funny, or just anything you want to know and then in a blog I will answer your questions. If you have a question you want to ask just leave a comment and I will try to answer whatever question you may have.

Also, just wanted to share something with you. I had to do a paper for my Bible class explaining who I thought God was. So I want to share that with you. It was a paper that got me thinking about what I really believed and hopefully it will leave thinking about what you believe about God.

Who God Is

I believe God is what He says He is in the Bible. God is personal and wants to be involved in every aspect of our lives. He doesn't force Himself on us but gently pursues us toward a loving relationship with Him. I believe everybody has a hole in them that only God can fill and no one else. Also, I believe that when we let God fill that hole that we are made complete and whole.

I believe that God sent His only Son named Jesus to die on a cross. God sent His only Son not because we are perfect but because He wanted a relationship with us and wanted us to accept eternal life offered through His only Son named Jesus. God is loving and just. While God is just He is also a God that delights to show mercy. I know that His grace is sufficient for my every need.

I believe that God has wonderful plans for me and He only wants what is best for me. Sometimes I question His plans and I don't understand them. An example of that is my dad having cancer yet at the same time I'm learning to trust anyway because God is making me into the person that He created me to be. God has told us that life is not problem free or pain free but that we all will have problems and experience pain in life but as a line in Natalie Grant's song Held says that the promise was when everything fell we would be held. God hurts when we hurt and longs to wrap His arms around us in those times.

I believe that God loves us just as we are. Nothing we could do could make God love us any more or any less. I believe that God loves us so much that He is willing to let us choose our way instead of His but I believe He is always waiting for our return with His arms open wide. God rejoices when His children come back home.

I believe that God calls us to be real. It's when we are weak, real, and transparent that we really let God shine. I know that life is hard and sometimes very painful. I have experienced it and I'm sure everybody has gone through something painful. It's when we let God shine through our shattered glass situations in life that God starts taking our ashes and tattered fabrics of our life and turns it into beauty and a perfect tapestry.

I believe that God understands exactly what we are going through, experiencing, and feeling. God understands that we question His plans in life. I believe that God doesn't get mad and point His finger at us but gently says it's okay and I understand. Then after God says those short but comforting words I believe He wraps His arms around us and gives us His peace that passes all understanding. The peace that God is in control and will carry us through whatever we are facing.

I believe that God answers prayer in different ways. Sometimes God says yes, other times no, not yet just wait, and probably the most difficult one for me I'm not going to take you out of it but carry you through it.

This is who I believe God is. Not because I grew up in church, read the Bible, or because my parents have taught me this but because I have experienced these things. Experiencing God is the most amazing and precious thing I have ever experienced. It's when I experience God that I get to know who He is, His love for me, and fall more in love with my Creator and Savior. For that I will always be thankful.

Goodnight and until next time,
Bridget

Update and Good News

The Latest:

Edward had the CT scan done yesterday. Today we met with the doctor. Finally, good news. The tumors have stopped growing. Praise the Lord. For the first time since this journey started, we have good news. The cancer markers have dropped significantly. Edward goes into the hospital tomorrow for his third round of treatments. In three weeks, we do this again, then he will have a repeat scan done. It is so apparent that God has gone before us and paved the way. We are so thankful for His steady hand keeping our family strong. We are also thankful for the prayers lifted. We have felt them... Please keep praying.

What a Mighty God We Serve,
Ed, Leigh, and Bridget

God's Goodness

Sorry it's been a while since I last have done an update. We have been so busy. As I sit here and type this blog I actually don't have a title for it. I am in awe right now of God's goodness even in the midst of my sorrow. The first picture you see is of Maggie and me. She is like a big sister to me and the way God crossed our paths again is neat and leaves me saying God is good. My mom actually taught Maggie in youth at the church I grew up going to when I was little. Then Maggie moved away and we didn't stay in touch. Long story short the person that would watch me during the summer still went to the church I grew up in and knew that Maggie moved back and was going there. One day I just asked about Maggie and she gave me the most recent number she had for her. Well, we called Maggie later that night and it was her. The neat thing was we got in touch with Maggie right before her wedding. We met up with Maggie before her wedding and as they say the rest is history. It's hard to believe that it has been over 3 years since our paths crossed again. Every time we hang out we have the best time and could laugh the whole time. Anyway, I was able to hang out with her while we were back in town and it was so much fun. Our time together left me in awe of God's goodness.

Then tonight we went and saw Greater Vision. We have been friends with these guys for years. I actually have known them since I was born and my mom and dad has known them longer than I have. We haven't seen them in a couple years so it was so good to actually see their faces tonight. I listen to KLOVE all the time but I love to pull out one of these guys CDs and I could listen to it all day. I have literally grown up listening to their music. Since the time I was born you could always find me in my room listening to Greater Vision. The neat part is that these guys have seen me grow up and has become very dear friends of ours. They have also been a great influence in my life and every time I hear the name or music of Greater Vision I remember being a little girl in church listening to them sing about God's faithfulness and love. Tonight they sang some of my favorite songs and I left there in awe of God's goodness in my sorrow and how blessed I truely am.

So I sit here typing this thankful for the moments God gives us just to let us know that He cares for us. Loves us. Never leaves our side and remains faithful. God doesn't have to give me these moments just because what I am going through but He does it because He cares and shows me there is hope, peace, and joy even in the midst of the valley in our lives.

One of Greater Vision's songs in the chorus it says You'll carry me through Lord like You always do Lord You'll hold me and guide me like good Shepards do this valley is no different then all those valleys that came and went I know You'll be true like You promised You do You'll carry me through. Sometimes we forget that whatever valley we are facing is no different than the other valleys we have faced. Maybe this valley you are facing is the hardest, scariest, most uncertain valley out of all the other valleys you have faced. May I encourage you by telling you God is in that valley with you. He hasn't left your side or turned His back on. God is not pointing His finger at you telling you to have more faith. I believe more than anything that God's arms are wide open for you to go running into. I believe He is saying to you to come My child come My arms are open. Come let Me take away every fear, doubt, and what if you carry and let Me replace it with My love. Come accept My grace that is sufficient for your every need. Let Me give you My peace that passes all understanding and let Me give you My hope that endures in the worst of circumstances. Come to Me My love and let Me wrap My arms around you and love on you.

Maybe you have awesome people in your life that remind you of God's goodness, faithfulness, and love or maybe you don't. Even if you don't have those people in your life that doesn't make God's goodness, faithfulness, and love in your life any less true. May you read the words on this screen and leave this site knowing these words to be true. God sees you. God loves you just as you are. God's arms are open wide. God's grace is sufficient for you.

Since I am so in awe of God's goodness in my life in the midst of my sorrow I will simply call this blog God's goodness.

In another blog I will update you all about my dad. Please understand that I post on here as often as I can. If my posts start coming not as often I will be starting school and so I will be busy with that but I will certainly post as often as I can and hopefully that can be daily.

In awe of God's goodness,

Bridget

Good Quotes & Something to Apply

In the happy moments, PRAISE GOD. In the difficult moments, SEEK GOD. In the quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD. In the painful moments, TRUST GOD. And, in every moment, THANK GOD.
God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better.
God is more interested in what I am than what I do.
God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ-likeness.
~ Rick Warren

I was just looking on the K-LOVE blog and found these quotes on there. They were really good quotes and I wanted to share them with you all. May we apply these to our life and trust God even in the moments that are painful and we don't understand. Even if we are in the middle of something there is something we can always thank God for. Even if that is just thanking God for giving you another day to live life to its fullest for Him. By doing that we can make our lives matter.

Goodnight,
Bridget

August Already? Summer Flying By

Just wanted to tell you all the my dad is doing good. So far he hasn't felt really bad. He has been in a little pain but not much. My dad also tries to rest when he can. Also, just wanted to remind you all that my dad's next appointment is August 10th. He will have a CT scan and another round of chemo done then. Thank you for all the prayers. They have been felt and we hope one day we can show kindness the way you have all shown it to us.

Today we were able to go to our home church. I can't tell you how good it felt to be back in that place and to see the precious and sweet church family I have. We walked through those doors and we certainly felt the love for our family and the fact that they were so glad to see us. We have been truely blessed by our church family. Why do I love my church so much? Because they are the hands and feet of Jesus in action. So thank you church family for the warm welcome and the love that was shown for our family today. We love you all.

It's hard to believe we are already into August. Where has this summer gone? It has seemed to fly by. Going into August we know what that means. Summer is almost over and school is about to start. I just want to encourage you to pray for this upcoming school year. For the students, teachers, and administration. I believe that praying for those things is one of the most important things we can do. I hope you all have had a wonderful summer and hopefully you enjoy the last days you have left of summer.

Check this site as I will try my best to keep you all updated.

In Christ alone,
Bridget

Next Appointment

Just wanted to let you all know that my dad's next appointment is August 10th. He will have a CT scan done and chemo as well. I will keep you all updated. Check this site as I will be posting as often as I can.

By the way, my mom's birthday was yesterday (Thursday, the 30th). My mom reads this blog and your comments. So if you want to put a little late happy birthday comment on here to her she would love it. Sorry I didn't post yesterday to where you could actually tell her happy birthday on her actual birthday.

Just want to leave you all with a verse. May you apply this verse to your life today and every day.

Colossians 3:12-14 (The Message):
So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.

Wearing love so people can see God's love,
Bridget

Painful Purpose

Title: Painful Purpose
Verse 1:
Pain pain go away
Come again another day
I can't wish the pain away
It's here to stay

Chorus 1:
God You ease the pain
You give me Your grace
To face another day
You're carrying me through the pain

Verse 2:
Where does life have you?
Would you rather be somewhere else?
Just know

Chorus 2:
God will ease your pain
He will give you His grace
To face another day
He will carry you through the pain

Bridge:
There's purpose in our pain
Because that's when God really shines
We know that

Chorus 3:
God will ease our pain
He will give us His grace
To face another day
He will carry us through the pain

Just something that I have written in my journal. The best way to describe it is God's voice speaking through mine. Also, I am posting another blog with another page from my journal and will update you about my dad in that blog. I hope these words have encouraged you. Life brings pain and sometimes God takes it away just as fast as it came and other times God says I'm not going to take the pain away but I am going to carry you through it. That is what God has told to our family. The pain is here and right now it's here to stay but I'm thankful that God promises to carry me through it and it's the same thing He will do for you. I actually wrote this page in my journal during this cancer journey I'm on with my dad. God is doing an amazing work in my heart as He is showing me that He truely is a Savior that never leaves my side even when I feel like He is nowhere to be found. May you know that God is there for you in your painful purpose that He has for your life.

Thankful for the purpose God has in my pain,
Bridget

Out of Hospital

When people ask us how in the world we can keep our balance during such stormy times, we don't boast. We don't brag. We point unabashedly to the One who makes it possible. Our eyes are on Jesus.

~ Max Lucado

Just wanted all of you to know that my dad got of the hospital today (Saturday). Pray that he will not have any reactions to the chemo. He is doing good just tired. Pray for his energy, appetite, no reactions, and his spirits to stay up. Thank you all for your support, love, and prayers for our family.

May when people ask you how you are able to face another day may you point to the One who gives you another day. We may not know what tomorrow holds but we know Who holds tomorrow and that is more than enough. That is not to say that I wake up every morning excited to face another day but I turn my day over to God and say You are going to have to help me get through another day. Even though I don't understand and have many questions with no answers I trust You anyway. Help to let go of how it should be. Help me to make my life matter today. Help me to love people like You do. I love You. And I start another day and make it through by God's grace. I have good and bad days. In every good and bad day I'm quick to call on the help, grace, and strength of my Savior so that I will live my life to make it matter that day and not think too far ahead but to focus just on today because for right now that is what God has given me.

It's crazy to think that school for me will be starting soon. It brings me back to last year when I started. It's hard to think back last year before December because that is how it should be right now: my dad without cancer and it's not. This journey for me has truly been a process and slowly but surely I'm learning God is a God that is working this for my good. How? Most days I can't see it but I'm trusting that He is and God wants only what is best for me. The holidays are hard thinking back to last year and soon in December the year anniversary will be coming up. Yet I make it through the holidays and another day because I am looking and pointing to the One that makes it possible.

Each day becomes possible because of Who holds that day,
Bridget

Servant of All

Give yourself fully to God. He will use you to accomplish great things on the condition that you believe much more in His love than in your own weakness.
~ Mother Teresa

Just wanted all of you to know that my dad's prodecure went well today. I told you wrong in the other blog about the chemo. The chemo will be for 48 hours. Then he will get another type of chemo for 60 minutes. He was in a lot of pain today. They were able to bring the pain level down which was a blessing for my dad. Pray that he will have no reactions to this chemo, his appetite, pain level, energy, and his spirits. Thank you for the prayers and love that have been shown to our family. Check here daily as I will try my best to post on here to keep you all posted.

Whatever your weaknesses are which we all have them may you show them and believe much more in God's love for you than your weakness. Also, may you show your weakness and not try to hide them. When we are weak that is when God is strong. Delight in your weakness because it's when we are weak that we really allow God to become our strength. Give every part of yourselve to God because that is how we can truely live our lives to make them matter.

Thank you all for showing our family what it truely means to love our neighbors as ourselves. May we look to others needs and not just our own.

May we show kindness the way Philippians 2: 1-4 The Message says:
If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if His love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care - then do Me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourselve aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obessed with getting your own advantage. Forget about yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.

Could it be that be that God calls us to serve because He knows the joy that comes from being the Servant of all? I think so. Something for us to consider and apply to our lives.

Until next time,
Bridget

Suffering Job

For any person who has tried to see God through shattered glass He speaks.
For those of us who have dared to say "If God is God . . . ," He speaks.
He speaks out of the storm and into the storm, for that is where Job is. That is where God is best heard.
All his life, Job had been a good man. All his life, he had believed in God. All his life, he had discussed God, had notions about Him, and prayed to Him.
But in the storm, Job sees Him.
He sees Hope. Lover. Destroyer. Giver. Taker. Deamer. Deliverer.
Job sees God - and that is enough.
For God gave Job more than Job ever dreamed. God gave Job Himself.
~ Max Lucado

Just wanted all of you to know that my dad will have 24 hours of chemo instead of the 48 hours of chemo tomorrow (Wednesday). Also, when he gets off the 24 hour chemo he will have another type of chemo for 60 minutes instead of 90 minutes. My dad has gained 4 pounds which is awesome. He will get taken to the back to prepare to have the line inserted into the liver at 9:00. Pray that the line getting inserted into the liver goes well and the line goes where it is supposed to go. Also, pray for his appetite, energy, and his spirits to stay up. I will let you all know how he is doing and when he gets out of the hosiptal. Thank you all for the prayers and please countinue them.

The quotes above are from a book I read called In the Eye of the Storm by Max Lucado. It's a good book if you are looking for one to read. In one of the chapters Max talked about Job. If you read the book of Job you will see that Job had a lot of suffering he went through. Job lost all his children, cattle, property, health, and pretty much everything that belonged to him. Even through it all Job instead of turning his back on God choose the unshakable faith that God offered him. Job knew that he served the God who gives and takes away and choose to say blessed be the name of the Lord. Job understand that he could have everything taken away from him but one thing and the most important thing to Job couldn't be taken away. The love of God and his realationship with his Creator. Job had his moments where he didn't understand and questioned God's plans. Job knew what it was like to have ye of little faith moments yet even in those moments Job still choose to trust that God truely had plans to give him a hope and a future even if Job couldn't see it. One thing is for certian Job choose even through the storm in his life to see God and embace the God who has nailed scared hands and understands the very defintion of suffering and pain.

Maybe in your life right now you have a shattered glass situation. It's my prayer that you will let God shine His light and love through the cracks. God understands that you will have your moments of ye of little faith. Even in those moments God doesn't point His finger at you saying you should have more faith but says it's okay and I'm here to comfort and love on you. Let Job be our example. The example of a person who lived a good life and loved God but still had suffering in his life but choose to realize that he had God who promised to never leave him or forsake him and for Job and for us it is more than enough. Through all the suffering Job went through he got more than he ever dreamed. Job expericed God in a whole new way and that is my prayer for you. That whatever you are going through that you would embace God and experince God in a very real and personal way. God is already embacing us in our suffering. The only question to ask ourselves is will we embace the God that never leaves our side?

Embacing God on the journey called life,
Bridget

Appointments and Check-In Tomorrow (Tuesday)

We are all pencils in the hand of God.

I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world.

~ Mother Theresa

Just wanted all of you to know that my dad has blood test and docter's appointment tomorrow (Tuesday). Also, tomorrow (Tuesday) night he will get admitted into the hosiptal. Then on Wednesday he will get the line inserted into his liver and have chemo for 48 hours. After he gets off the 48 hour chemo he will get another type of chemo for 90 minutes. Pray the line getting inserted into the liver goes well. Also, pray that he will have no reactions to the chemo, for his appetite, energy, and his spirits. Thank you all for your love, support, and prayes you have given our family.

The two quotes above are something I want to blog about at length. My first question for you to think about is what kind of pencils are you in the hand of God? Are you willing pencils? Are you pencils where He decides the colors and drawings that go in your picture? Does God have hold of your pencil or are you holding on to it tightly refusing to let go? Are you a dull pencil or a sharp pencil? We are pencils and we need to let God do the writing. Sometimes though we think our handwriting is cutter or prettier than the handwriting of God. We think we can draw more creative pictures than He can. We choose better colors than He does and we decide it's okay if we become the luke worm dull pencils.

Willing pencils isn't something that comes that easily for us. We may be willing to give some of our time, help other people that need help, or even go on a mission trip. But Lord knows we become less than willing in certain circumstances. Maybe for you the circumstances include moving somewhere else, having a child that is into drugs/alcohol, sickness in your family, finiancial situations, getting told that today is your last day at work, facing a death in your life, your dream not coming true, shame and guilt leaving you feeling worthless, having someone overseas serving our country, and many more. There are many circumstances in life that can leave us less than willing. I'm learning though that God wants to use our lives/pencils to write His love in every circumstance.

The colors that God chooses. God can choose a color and we think we have a better color. Right now in your life God may have given you a dark color in your picture/painting and you long for a brighter color. The dark color in your life can come in many different hard circumstances. I know though that even though you may have been given a dark color in your life right now that God wants to to be the light and bright color in the dark color that is in your life. We can go through the dark colors in our life knowing that God has a bright color waiting for us as He takes our ashes and turns them into beauty. While He takes the ashes and turns them into beauty through our lives and being the willing pencils in His hand God is writing His love letter to the world.

Willing pencil in the hands of a loving God,
Bridget

Heading back to M.D. Anderson

Just wanted to let all of you know that we are heading back to M.D. Anderson tomorrow (Sunday). Pray for safe travel. I will let all of you know when we get there.

My dad's chemo is on Tuesday the 21st. Pray that the line getting inserted into the liver goes well. He will have chemo for 48 hours. Then another type of chemo for 90 minutes. Pray for no reactions to this chemo. Also, pray for his energy, strength, appetite, and spirits.

Thank you all for the support and love you have given our family. Despite what we are going through as individuals and a family I'm so glad to say that I'm truely blessed and so thankful to the God that gives and takes away.

Serving the God who gives and takes away and saying blessed be the name of the Lord,
Bridget

A Perfect Tapestry

I know God is using this awful experience to do something beautiful.

We beat cancer moment by moment as we allow God, not cancer, to control our thoughts. We beat it hour by hour as we remember that God's power within us is greater than the cancer. And we beat it day by day as we trust in God's strength and not in cancer's weakness.

God knows if you are in the desert and He knows how to give you streams in the midst of it.

~ Lynn Eib

Just wanted all of you to know that God has given us a stream in the desert. The biggest stream is being able to be home for this weekend. We actually got home today. We will be heading back to M.D. Anderson on Sunday. So pray on Sunday that we will have safe travel. My dad is not hanging around crowds or people who are sick. He cannot afford to get sick. Also, he is resting too.

May you look and expect God to bring streams in whatever desert you are facing. This is one of the many streams He has given us. We are seeing how God really does His best work in brokenness and how He is turning the ashes into beauty. The process of the "something beautiful" being created is certainly not easy and pain free but I know that is going to be so worth it in the end. Why? Because through each thing God is drawing us closer to Him and showing us how deep, long, and wide His love truely is. I know that God is painting a beautiful picture of His amazing grace through this. The grace that is sufficient for my every moment and need. I will always be thankful and quick to thank the Artist that is doing the work by taking the tattered fabric of my life and turning it into a perfect tapestry. The perfect tapestry that can only be created by my loving God who turns ashes into beauty.

Thankful to the Artist who is painting His grace,
Bridget